Promises Broken
by pyshcomom
Summary: Everything I ever wanted to be and everything I am has nothing to do with why I’m here or why I was chosen to be here. First fanfic. Written in POV female character. Can't give to much away you'll have to read it to understand.
1. Secrets

Disclaimer: Don't own them

AN: A special shout out to Shannon for her beta THANKS

Promises Broken

"_Streets are filled with broken glass,_

_You get buried by the past._

_Give me just a little taste lay this mess to waste_

_My mind is racing, my body aching so alone_

_I'll make you want to stay with me_

_Befriend by the enemy_

_Every little thing about this tells me _

_Nothing out there is ever going to help me, _

_And all these words that I have spoken _

_Just promises broken."_

_Soul Asylum_

Everything I ever wanted to be and everything I am has nothing to do with why I'm here or why I was chosen to be here. The more I run from who I am the more the world finds me. Closing my eyes tight I wish to be anywhere else but here, but as my eyes slowly open I realise that right here is who I am. I walk a lonely road, I don't know where it will take me but I know that it's a long trip.

The air is crisp and bites at my face and hands as I look behind me, the alley is empty, even the sub life that lines every street corner reminding us what it will be if we're not careful, but even on a night like this they know not to be here. I glance up to the night sky, the pale stars flicker in the distance, giving hope to whomever glances their way that there is more to the world than what we see. I laugh out loud, cruel world teasing everyone to believe in a god that isn't real.

The smoke from my cigarette dances in the breeze before it dissipates into nothing. I take another deep drag from the cigarette wishing that I could disappear just like the smoke. But a reality drags me back to the task at hand. I walk slowly down deeper into the darkness, a darkness that gave birth to me.

The mindless chatter of people breaks my thoughts as I turn the corner. Two young street walkers in their tight cloths and venomous looks stop watching me as I walk slowly past them. They go back to the work at hand as a black Escalade pulls up. I keep walking, trying not to look at the man half leaning out the window. His heavily hairy arm hangs out as it moves, as he talks his words bite at me. As I look up, the light from his car blinds me and I let my cigarette drop to the ground it bounces. I dig deep into my pockets. The cold metal of the pistol touches my finger tips. I breathe in, one shot, one mistake.

It's like the world stands still, the gun slips from my pocket. I take aim, one shot. I zone out focusing only on the figure in the car. All the air rushes out of my lungs as I let my finger press down on the trigger, the shot rings out. The working ladies scream and they take off down the street. I tuck the hot gun in my pocket as I keep walking down the cold dark alley. The pictures fly through my head, one shot, no mistakes. I raise my shoulders blocking the air from my neck as I disappear back into the darkness.

The loud shrill of Metallica's Enter Sandman fills the air as I roll over, the sun already spreads its rays of sunshine into my room, blinding me as I pull myself off the bed. "Harold!" my voice calls as I crack my neck, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My fiery red hair has a life of it own. I try in vain to control it. My makeup from the night before is blurred and the eyeliner runs down my cheeks giving my look even more of a twist.

The door creaks as I walk out; the smell of pot fills the air. I shuffle to the kitchen. "Harold!" My voice cracks.

"Trinity," Harold is surprised by my presence, "baby were you sleeping?" Harold jumps up from his usual position on the couch. His face red as he walks up to me, his eyes already glossed over. I look behind him. A young woman sits leaning over, her red lips gripped around the butt of a joint. She doesn't even acknowledge my existence taking another hit.

"Harold, who is she?" I point as he lets out a lung full of smoke.

"Star," he loosely hums, "I met her last night, girl's going be famous someday." He runs his hands through his greasy hair. "You should talk with her. She has like some far out words of wisdom."

"What I want is for you and Star to leave," I growl as I notice the newspaper on the counter, the picture of the Escalade is on the front page. I pick it up and slowly read the article. Man shot by unknown assailant.

A man, name withheld by police until proper notification of his family, was murdered on the corner of Brooks and Fifth Streets early this morning. Emergency operators dispatched police and paramedics to the scene at approximately 2:00 am where they discovered the victim dead from a gunshot wound. Police have no leads on the description of the assailant, with the exception of gender. One eye witness is quoted to have said, "she came out of nowhere, killed him and was gone. The investigation is ongoing."

I turned the paper over. If only they knew what they were getting in the car with. I saved their lives and they will never know. He would have used them for bait most likely, and enjoyed every minute of it.

"All right," Harold staggers, "buzz kill."

I was brought back by my brother's words as he walked over to Star, whispering to her. She looks back at me; her green eyes pierce holes through me. They walk out, slamming the door shut behind them.

I need to clear my head, need to free myself of my own demons. I make my way back to the bedroom, knowing well enough that it is already too late to go back to sleep. My brother has seen to that. So I do the next best thing. A cold shower to get the rest of my body to respond to the need to be awake.

The water feels good against my skin as I let it roll down my back, staring blankly at the drain, slowly letting it wash away any memories of the night before. Its therapeutic massage on my body feels just right and I lose myself to its embrace. I don't even notice the tears that slip from my bloodshot eyes.

The loud ring of the phone breaks me out of my bliss. "What now!" I yell at the top of my lungs, as I pull back the shower curtain, wrapping a towel around my wet body. I snatch the phone from the counter. "Hello?" My voice echoes coldly.

"Trinity?" a familiar voice brings a welcomed feeling.

"Dean?" I sit down on the toilet, "What is it?" The lengthy pause on the other line brings a sense of fear to the pit of my stomach. "Dean?"

"We need your help," he almost hesitates; I can tell he is forcing the words out. My heart skips a beat; it has been too long since I've heard from Dean, too long.

"Where?" the word came out before I even realise what I am saying.

"We're down stairs." He let out a nervous laugh.

"Five seconds." I throw the phone down, the towel slipping to the ground as I grab a worn shirt and a pair of torn jeans and struggle to get them on as I run for the door.  
I take every second step the whole way to the lobby and skid to a halt.

Dean is standing with his back to me. His faded brown leather jacket hangs loosely on his shoulders. Behind him is a face I haven't seen since I was a little girl. My heart skips a beat as I open the door. Dean turns. He is holding his chest protectively, swaying to the right. The smile that creeps across his face is one of pain and worry. Both boys are battered and bruised.

What the hell happened?" I grab Dean before he collapses to the ground. "Jesus Christ, boys you look like horrible."

"Ha, you don't know the half of it," Dean lets out a low grumble.

An older lady walks up behind us as she clears her throat. "Right, good morning Evelyn."

I grab Dean's arm. "We better get you upstairs and looked at, the two of you."

Evelyn scowls as she continues watering her plants.

The walk back up is time consuming for both Winchesters, as they struggle with each step. My loft door swings open. I rush to the kitchen, grabbing everything I need. "On the couch both of you. Dean, what happened?"

"Funny thing, we were checking out some strange killings and ran into a nest."

"Vampires, come on guys there has not been a vamp sighting in years here, my dad made sure of that." I grab a large glass bowl filling it with warm water, walking into the living room.

Dean sits on the edge of the couch cradling his head, while Sam leans against the wall. He sways violently forward, catching himself on the edge of the wall.

"God damn it, Sam, sit down before you fall and crack your head open!" I bark as I look at Dean, lifting his head so I can look into his eyes. "What the hell, you're both damn good hunters, and you got your asses handed to you by a couple vamps, I'm surprised."

Sam flops down on a large recliner as he struggles to find a comfortable position. Dean is torn up something bad; a large gash covers his cheek. It drips blood onto my floor. Also a cut from somewhere on the back of his head streams blood down his neck, soaking his shirt. He protectively jerks back when I touch his chest. "Now that wont do, I need to take the shirt off, are you attached?"

"What?" he is confused by my choice of words.

I pick up the scissors from the small red first aid kit, cutting away at his shirt. My own heart skips a beat. The shirt falls from his chest revealing a medium sized puncture wound, covered by a poor patch job. The makeshift bandage was already soaked through. I couldn't help but let out a deep growl.  
"Your dad's a marine right?" The words where meant to lighten the situation, but I found them more hurtful. "Then why the hell patch yourself like this? My ass could do a better job." I turn, glaring at Sam.

"We were rushed." His eyes are barely open as he takes a deep breath.

Dean's hand wraps around my wrist. "Sammy?" his voice trails off. He looks, up his brown eyes pleading. "Make sure he's all right."

That boy's way too protective of his baby brother. I shake my head, helping him lay down. "All right," I turn facing Sam. I am pleased that he is more helpful. He tells me where it hurts. My diagnosis is quick, "by the look and movement, probably cracked ribs, and a sprained wrist. There is no visible bleeding, just nasty bruising." I make sure I say it loud enough so Dean can hear. "No real patching needed here. Some pain meds and a couple hours of good sleep, you'll be sore, but right as rain."

"Thanks." He lets his eyes close, as his voice comes out in a mere whisper, "there were way more then the two of us could handle. Dean, he took the brunt of the volley. We got out of there as fast as we could." His voice trailed off. "We didn't know where to go. Dean was bleeding out…I…we called Bobby and he suggested we call you."

"Thank God for Bobby." I hand him two white pills. "Here before you pass out."

His hand weakly grazes mine and he drops them into his mouth, giving me a slight nod. I turn my full attention on the wounded Winchester sprawled out on the couch. His side is now bleeding out. "Super." I press more gauze onto the wound. "I just bought this couch; you're going to pay to get it cleaned." But my words are pointless, his eyes closed shut.

My hands worked flawlessly, cleaning the wounds, trying to assess the damage. I get most of the blood cleaned away. It isn't as bad as I thought it would be. "Couple stitches," I mumble, reaching for my kit.

"You know, Trin, you really have to treat my ladies with respect, I mean---" Harold's voice makes me stop. He walks into the living room, freezing at the sight that lies before him. He looks at me; his small brown eyes open wide as he drops the grocery bag on the floor. "What the hell girl?"

"Close the door," I yell, not even looking up, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "Listen, I need you to either sit down or shut and help me."

He doesn't say anything as he walks towards me, looking down at Dean. "Winchester? This day is turning out to be a mind blowing experience." His voice trails off as he turns to look at Sam.

"Hey pot head, can you stay with me for a second?" I scowl. "I need you to get Sam into the spare room."

"That's my room."

"Not today, do it now or I'll evict your butt and you can find somewhere else to crash!"

He grumbles under his breath, picks Sam up and carries him to the back of the loft.

I really don't have the time to deal with his childish antics right now. My thoughts and actions are focused on Dean. The cuts on his face are deep and need stitches. I give him one more once over, making sure I didn't miss anything. There's just so much carnage. That's when I notice the bite mark. I drop his arm. I can think of some choice words to say, but instead I stare blankly at the marks.

Harold lets out a gasp from behind me. "Snap!" He steps back. "He's been bitten!"

"Really, it doesn't mean anything Harold, come on." I have to give myself a mental shake. "If it drank their blood then we'd have to worry."

"You don't know that," he barks.

"And we're going to keep that way. If he turns then we kill him, if we're wrong, I'm not wasting a good hunter." I take a deep breath. "Harold, I need a needle and some string. I have to fix his face and side."

"It's a waste of time."

"No it's not." I snap my head at him. "He's practically family and we don't give up on them, right? I never gave up on dad or your sorry ass."

"Fine," he storms off, coming back moments later with the needle already threaded. "You don't have to be such a bitch about it."

I grab the needle from his hand, turning to Dean. I stitch up what is necessary, looking from time to time to his eyes, making sure he isn't going to wake. It takes less time than I thought. Relieved that Dean didn't wake up through any of this.

Rolling back on my ankles, I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. "Put him in my room, I need to call Bobby." I stand up, stretching out my back, my hands reach automatically to my cigarette pack on the coffee table.

I lock myself in the bathroom, running warm water over my blood soaked hands, steadying my already shaking breath. I catch a glance of my pale face. "Not good, not good."

Pressing my hand against the mirror. Without thinking I reaching for the phone, dialling a number I never want to call.

"Hey Jake, it's me Trinity." I pause, turning from my reflection.

"Trinity, why are you calling me this early in the morning?" his voice growls. He is the one person I never much like to talk to or listen to, either

"Listen, the Winchesters just showed up and they are both banged up pretty badly." I pause, my stomach churning; a queasy feeling washes throughout me.

"I know we lost three good protectors fending them off." His voice becomes alert.

"I know, but listen to me," I try in vain to shut him up.

"Do they know they almost found the council?"

"No, they don't know what they have. Not yet anyway."

"Keep it that way, that's why Fallyn chose you. How long till they are well enough to leave?"

"Couple days at best before they are mobile. Get Fallyn and the others out. I'll hold them off as long as I can." I hear steps and turn, holding my hand over the receiver. "Harold?"

"What?" his voice is right outside the door.

"I need you to run to the store. Take my bankcard. I need you to pick up some more bandages and gauze and the best damn painkillers you can find." I pull back, stopping to grab his arm, "and the strongest whiskey they have."

His face smiles as he turns. "Can I get a little something for myself?"

"Just go." I roll my eyes, waiting to hear the close of the door. I turn my attention to the phone, "Jake, still there?"

"Do I have a choice?" his tone is flat.

AN: Come on I know you want too just Click the GO and tell me what you think

"Whatever." I knew they would find out sooner or later. "Dean's been bitten, I need to find out who did it."

"What?! Has he changed yet?"

"No, I'll keep an eye on him. Call me when you find out."

"No, Trinity, a bitten mortal needs to be dealt with before he figures out anything." I knew that was coming.

"Just do it." I look at the phone before quickly hanging it up.


	2. Dreams

Disclaimer: Sadly I still don"t own nothing, well except for the Trinity, Harold, Fallyn, Jake, you know any one I made up from the dark corners of my mind

AN: Thanks again Shannon for your awesome Beta you gave this story its breath, while I gave it a heart. I am horrible at posting new chapters so this one is extra long.

Promises Broken

If I don't get what I want

And you don't get what I need

We become oblivious to the obvious,

Just dysfunctional

When I can't keep from getting down

And I grow tired of hangin' 'round

I become invisible, unliveable

Shut down

Soul Asylum

Harold shows up well over an hour later his hands full with bags, dropping them onto the counter. "Here's everything plus a little something for me." He pulls out a plastic bag and shoves it into his pocket. "What did Bobby say?"

Rolling my eyes, I throw my hands in the air, "I couldn't reach him. I'll try in a little bit." I pull out a cigarette and quickly light it. "I need you to keep an eye on Sam; don't try anything freaky with him, holding him lovingly against your shoulder, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. You know, the usual weird stuff you're into. Just make sure he's alright. I'm going to watch Dean."

"What if he turns?" Harold sat down beside me, ignoring my comments; he snatched the smoke from me.

"Then he'll be a few feet shorter." I rub my hands on my jeans, realising my clothes are still covered in Deans blood. "Hey, no smoking in the house anymore, go out on the balcony alright."

"Whatever." He takes another drag off the smoke hands it back to me. "And no getting your freak on with Vamp boy, I'll know." He smiles, standing up, cracking his neck.

I relax on the couch; thoughts screaming through my head as I finish my smoke. It would be a couple more hours before Dean would change--- if he is even going too change. I have to have all my wits about me. I look around the loft. How did I let this get this far?

Slipping into the bedroom, Dean's soft snoring is music to my ears, at the same time it brings dread to my heart. I dig through my pile of clothes, finally finding a black shirt and a pair of my favourite jeans, absent-mindedly pulling my hair back into a ponytail. Glancing up momentarily into the mirror, the phone shakes in front of me.

"Roadhouse Grill, you kill them we cook them." I walk out, closing the door behind me, and my heart drops at the words I hear.

"It's Kynan," Jake's voice shrills.

"What? Damn it Jake, make sure, if it was Kynan then we have a problem. Check again." I try to keep my voice down but it is no use. The words get louder as I screech them out.

"Listen to me, Kynan took a hunk out of Dean," Jake is irritated by my tone.

"No, you listen to me, if it was Kynan---" I pull the phone from my ear, already knowing that it isn't worth the emotions. I take a deep breath to clear my thoughts. "Fine, Kynan's mindscape is too strong to control. If the bite is clean then we'll have to turn Dean. He's too much of a risk running around with insight." I pause. "Get the others ready." I hang up the phone, squeezing it until I am sure it will break in my hands. Finally unable to keep my anger at bay, I whip the phone at the wall, watching it shatter against the wall.

Harold comes running, his face white. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I turn, how's Sam?"

"Sleeping." He scratches his head, I can see the concern in his eyes, but I really don't care. "How are you?"

"Peachy, I need a drink." I push passed him; the Whiskey is golden as it fills the small tumbler. I slam it back, ignoring the burning sensation, I fill the cup again. Harold watches me, his eyes wide as I slam back a second shot, wiping the liquid from my lips. I shake, setting the glass down a little much too hard. It shatters in my hands, blood dripping from my palm, but I don't feel anything.

"Trinity!" Harold grabs my hand, holding it over the sink. "What has been going on with you lately?"

I watch as he picks the glass from my hand, wrapping the cuts in a dishcloth. I want to tell him everything, but at the same time it would hurt him to hear what kind of monster his baby sister has become. And he is all I have left. I squeeze my hand, letting the pain run up my arm.

I look up at him. My other hand gently brushes his cheek. "Nothing big brother, nothing." I offer my best smile, tapping his cheek. "I should go keep an eye on Dean." I drop my hand from his face. Walking slowly to my room, his eyes never leave me for a second, not until I close the door behind me. Leaning against the door, I slide to the ground, my emotions are more then I can handle. Unable to hold my tears back any longer, they burst from my eyes. I look at Dean as tears stream down my cheeks. I do my best to bite back the sobs, burying my face in my knees.

I need this. I can't remember the last time I cried like this. My world is falling apart, a world I have so carefully built up from nothing and I can do nothing more than watch it from a distance. I want to be miles from here. Instead, I pull a chair to the side of the bed and sit down, never taking my eyes off of Dean's face.

Running over the plan in my head, Jake and the others will be here in a couple of hours. I'm sure I can pass it off--- getting my ass handed to me, throwing a couple well placed kicks and punches, take a few for myself. Then I will let them take him back to the nest. It is simple. If anyone asks, they overpowered me. Sam is a little more difficult, but I'm sure I can lead him in the wrong direction just long enough. If dad were still alive, he'd beat me until there would be little trace of the very monster I have become.

The loft fills with the mindless thump of System of a down, I hum to the song ATAW. Harold knows how to calm me when I need it. Oh god, how am I going to explain this to him? I've never lied to him, never really had to tell him the truth either. My blood runs cold. He will disown me. Christ, he will hunt me down and kill me. Then it dawns on me, dude would get too stoned and forget about it. I laugh out loud.

I glance back down at my hand, the cut all but healed. I toss the towel to the ground. My fingers trace around the now faint lines of the cuts, closing my hand disgusted that I have let everything go this far. The bright red dials of my alarm clock blink. Four more hours till night fall, four more long hours before they will come. I close my eyes and listen to Dean's rhythmic breathing. I find myself matching his every breath until I drift off in to a hellish sleep.

ooo000ooo

_I stood outside an old condemned Victorian house. I remember this house. Voices behind me made me turn. I'm only fourteen. I walked toward the house. I smiled as Dean tromped up the path behind me. Following not far behind him was Sam, his pudgie face glistened with sweat as he carried a large duffle bag. I knew this dream, but why now?_

_"Hold up guys." Sam groaned as he struggled with the bag. _

_"Keep up, Sammy," Dean teased as he looked at the house. "So this is it, huh?"_

_"Yup." I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "Dad said the whole family was slaughtered by their gardener and he says they still walk the grounds wanting revenge on the man who did it."_

_"Really?" Sam dropped the duffle bag to the ground. "So why are we here?"_

_"I came out to put an end to all this, it was my great grandfather who killed them." My lips curled into a devilish smile._

_Sam's eyes grew large as he glanced to Dean, who in turn rolled his eyes and gave me a shove. "Stop that."_

_"What?" I grabbed the bag, opened it, tossed a flash light to Sam and a sawed off riffle to Dean. "It's somewhat true."_

_"Look I don't mind you having some fun with us, but don't mess around with ghosts, it's not funny." _

_"God, do you always take life so seriously?" I stood up, pushing my hair from my eyes, glancing at Sam who shook uncontrollably. "Fine, Sam, my great grandfather never killed anyone, mutilated a few black cats." I couldn't help it; Dean smacked me as he turned to the house, cocking the gun._

_"I don't want to go." Sam rubbed his knee._

_Dean looked at his little brother and nodded, handing him his cell. "All right, stay out here, and if anything happens you call dad." He ignored my groan, as he grabbed another shot gun. "Here. If it moves shoot it."_

_Sam took the gun, looking around he shook his head. "Twenty minutes?"_

_"Right." Dean grabbed my hand as we walked to the house. "Better hurry, if Sam doesn't hear from us in twenty he'll call dad."_

_"What?" I stopped at the door. "That gives us no time."_

_"Hey it was your idea to come here, dad always taught us to be careful, and."_

_"I get it--- the whole ex marine crap. But I suggest you pull that stick from out of your butt. Dean you need to relax. If you don't have fun you'll die a lonely old man." Pushing the door open, I slipped in._

_There was a very good reason for the house being condemned; the sitting room had no floor, just two planks that led to the hall. Glancing down into the dark abyss below us, Dean shined his flash light into the basement. The cement floor was a sickly green. I was sure I saw a rat or two scurry across the floor. Dean looked around, his eyes trained to take in everything._

_He turned back to me smiling. "So what, the whole family was killed?"_

_"Yeah, the mother was found in the kitchen, the father in the basement and the daughter was in her room." I pointed to the upstairs. "Pretty violently, too. I heard dad talking with Harold about that." The room groaned. "Dean?"_

_"Wasn't me." He raised his gun and hurried over the planks. "Come on." He held out his hand. _

_My plank wasn't as firm as I first thought. It teetered with every step. Dean reached for my hand. A bang made me jump. The plank turned under my feet. A scream escaped my lips. I was sure I would plummet to my death. Dean's hand shot out, grabbing my hood and pulling me, with a jolt, to the hall floor. _

_"Guys?" Sam's voice called._

_"We're all right," Dean yelled back, picking me off the ground. "Two left feet?"_

_"Shut up," brushing myself off, I looked up the stairs. "We go up?"_

_"Up it is then." He flashed his light up the spiral stairs. "So your parents, how long have they been hunting?" He tried to keep the subject off what we were doing._

_"Since way before Harold was born. You?"_

_"Since I was five." He jumped onto the staircase, tuning around, offering me his hand._

_My hand slipped into his and he pulled me onto the stairs. "That's not that long." I tested the first step. It took my weight. "I mean your dad is a good hunter, but you're still a green horn."_

_"Hey, I'm a damn good hunter." He walked beside me, moving the light around._

_"I don't doubt you or I wouldn't ask you to come with me." Looking behind me, the sitting room looked like a large mouth. I quickly turned back. "So Sam, he doesn't like this, does he?"_

_"No." Dean stopped as he flashed the light on the second floor. "I don't think it's in his blood, probably grow up to be someone famous."_

_He pointed to the only open door to the right of us. He stepped quickly to the side. I couldn't help looking back at the gaping hole below us. My hand grabbed for the railing as it shook in my hand before dropping to the ground below. The noise it made caused Dean to jump. The sound of the wood bouncing off anything and everything echoed through the entire house._

_"Would you…" Dean barked, grabbing my hand, pulling me towards him. "Now the whole world knows we're here."_

_"Sorry."_

_He pointed to the door, slowly turned towards it and stepped in. I stood back. A large smile slipped over my face, already knowing what was going to happen. A roar filled the air as Harold dropped down from his hiding place above the door. He wore a Freddy Kruger Halloween mask. Dean stumbled back, his eyes full of fear. Everything slowed down, as I watched._

_Harold took a step towards him, trying to tell him it was a joke. He began to pull off the mask, but Dean was too far gone. He struck out, his fist connected with Harold's jaw, knocking him to the ground. _

_"Dean." I grabbed for his arm. _

_He gasped for air as he pushed me back, already figuring out what happened. I stumbled back, slamming into the railing, which gave out under my weight. I toppled over. The wood banister rattled against the floor, slipping down into the hole below me. My hands waved in the air, trying to gain stability. My eyes filled with terror as I caught Dean's eyes._

_"Trinity!" Dean reached out, his fingers grazed mine._

_"Dean!" I bellowed, slipping off. My hand reached out, trying to grab anything, knowing well enough that it wasn't the fall that was going to kill me but the impact._

_Something caught my arm, holding me in the air. I glanced up, tears already blurring my vision. To my joy it was Dean. He held the banister with one hand and my arm with his other. "Hold on," his voice strained._

_"Don't you let me go, Dean! Don't let me go!" I screamed, trying my best not to struggle._

_Dean groaned out as he tried to lift me. It was no use. His face reddened and he again tried. The banister he held onto cracked, causing Dean to lurch forward. His hand slipped down my arm. I dropped a few more inches. Sweat now dripped from his forehead. His shoulder popped under my weight. A slight moan escaped his lips.  
_

_  
"Hang on Trinity," he groaned, glancing at the banister, knowing if he didn't do something it would snap and we would both fall to our deaths._

_I noticed it, as well. "Dean hurry." My other hand grabbed his arm, trying to tighten the grip. His hands continued to slip down my arm. Panic set in. The ledge was just so close. "Swing me!"_

_Without argument Dean began the slow movement with his arm. The banister creaked with an eerie groan. It was enough to strike fear into anyone's heart. His pupils dilated, quickly shaking his head. All I could do was stare at him. "Dean!" _

_But it was too late. My hand slipped from his. It felt so good and at the same time terrifying, flying through the air. My hair licked at my face. I didn't scream out--- just stared, stared at Dean. His large brown eyes cried out as he watched me. His jaw flexed and the single tear slipped from his eye, rolling down his cheek. It twirled in the air, slashing against my cheek. The blackness swallowed me whole. The last thing to reach me was Dean's voice--- his always steady voice, now shaking. He called out my name.  
_

_ooo000ooo_

My body begins to twitch, my large blue eyes snapping open. Gasping for air, I fall from the chair. The cold wooden floor feels so good against my cheek. Laying here, my hand automatically reaching for my cheek.

I spent months in the hospital and years trying to forget that moment. Slowly raising back up onto my knees, my eyes find Dean. His chest is slowly raising and lowering. He has no clue what he did to me, no idea what he is still doing to me. I bite back my anger, slowly climbing into the bed, knowing after all this he will never talk to me again.

A creepy sense--- I know it's wrong, but right now I need to pretend that nothing is changing. I need to convince myself that this is the best thing to do. Lying down beside Dean, I gently lower my head on his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart, feeling the soft breeze from his breath against my hair. I slip my hand into his, rubbing my thumb against the back of his hand.

"Where did we go wrong?" My eyes grow heavy again. I can feel the tiredness already taking back my conscience. Letting my eyes close, steadying my breath to match his, I'm sure he tightens his grip against my hand. For the first time in a long time I don't dream.

AN: Let me know what you think


	3. Silent Goodbyes

AN:Thanks Shannon for all your Beta, you rock

Warning character death and gore

_So I ran faster  
But it caught me here  
Yes my loyalties turned  
Like my ankle  
In the seventh grade  
Running after the rain  
These precious things  
Let them bleed  
Let them wash away  
These precious things  
Let them break  
Their hold over me_

_Tori Amos_

Promises Broken

Harold's knocking breaks me out of my sleep. "Hey trinity." I look, up forgetting that I locked the door. "Trinity, what the hell are you doing in there?"

"Sleeping." I sit up. The sun is already setting. I let out a hiss, scratching my head. "What do you want?" I open the door, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

Harold stands, his face stern, leaning in to look at Dean then Never call me here, you know the rules," I shut the door behind me.back to me. He lunges the cell at my chest. "Some guy named Jake. He's been calling every five minutes, won't take piss off as an answer." He walked out on the balcony, sliding the glass door shut behind him.

His voice is cold, colder then usual. "We're ready."  
I look up at the clock. "Fine, give me twenty minutes then do what you have to do, and make it look real." Closing the phone, I make my way to the balcony, grabbing my cigarette pack from off the end table. "How's Sammy?"

"Last time I checked he was sleeping. What the hell did you give him, horse tranquilizers?" He takes a hit off his joint.

"No, couple T3's." I light the cigarette and blow the smoke into the air. "He'll sleep forever."

"So how awkward is this? I mean, I remember the very words out of your mouth last time we saw Dean." He looks at me.

"That was the past."

"Really? Hmmm, I never want to see your face again, you dirty low-life reject of man." Waving his hands in the air. "He hurt you real bad. Hell, you locked yourself in your room for months."

"It was three days, and I wasn't hurt, just upset." I look up at the stars. "He was my first."

"Hey, no, I don't want to hear that." He clamps his hands around his ears. "You're my baby sister, my sweet innocent little sister."

"Oh, but you can tell me whenever you do the nasty? Harold, half the crap you have told me, well, it's something I need counselling for."

"Honey, half the things we've fought would leave anyone scared, not who I've banged."

"Right, I think its time you stop smoking this crap and take a good hard look at your life, buddy."  
Harold shook his head as he sat down on my faded patio furniture. "So, who's Jake?"

"Nobody." I roll my eyes as I sit down beside him.

"Really?" lying down next to me. "Are you keeping something from me? I promise

not to kick the crap out of him, and you can tell me if you're dating, I'm a big boy."

"No. We're just real good friends. I was supposed to meet him for coffee today and with all of this, I forgot. He's just being a friend and making sure, you know. So, who's this Star girl? She was looking pretty tight." I quickly changed the subject.

"I think I'm in love with her." He looked at me. "She digs me, and gets me. Kind of like the way you do."

"Awesome, so will you be moving out anytime soon? I don't mean to sound rude, but honey, you smell." I laugh as he punches my arm.

The grating of the patio door makes us both look up; Sam's pale face is not a face I want to see right now. He leans over, all the color drains from his face. I can tell he is still in pain

"Hey," Harold beams as he stands up, "want a hit?" He offers him his joint. " 'Cause you look like hell."

"No," Sam scowls. "Where Dean?"

"Resting in my room. Sam sit down." I help him over to the chair. Ten minutes left, and with Sam up this will cause a problem. I look up at Harold, "what? Get him a drink." I sit next to Sam; Harold grumbles, disappearing into the loft. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore." He offers me his best smile. "Look, I'm sorry we had to put this on you, but it's all we had and Bobby said you could help, seeing as your dad--" He stops, reaching out to touch my hand. "How have you been doing? It must be hard taking care of Harold and the family business."

"I gave it up after dad passed, never felt the same." I reach for my cigarettes. "Wow, it's been a while since I last saw you, and I can't help but say, Sam, you have changed." Again changing the subject, I rub his forearm. I try my best not to reminisce too much on my life after my father's passing.

"Thanks," he covers my hand with his. He leans his head back, as he takes a deep breath. "So what do we do now?"

"You guys need to get better and then we find the nest and payback is a bitch." I cock my head as I smile. Just as the words come from my mouth, the front door shatters and five figures rush in. This wasn't right, the color draining from my face, staring in disbelief. They are early. Harold's yells echo in my head. I drop my cigarette and tear the door open.

"Get out!" I bark picking up a thick ashtray and throwing it at the first face I see. It bounces off the head of a large, balding man with a deep thud, and he staggers back. Harold attacks the one to the left of him. I watch in amazement. My brother's hands and feet stick with precision. It is just like old times.

Sam pushes up against me. "Dean!" it is a blur, the bald man slowly stands up, cracks his neck. His eyes flash white. My blood runs cold. These aren't humans!

"Vampires!" I yell stepping forward. Harold hears me as he is thrown back into the kitchen. I reach out to grab Sam before he gets into trouble, but he is already running full tilt to the bedroom. A blonde female vamp sticks out her arm, clothes lining him. His long body flips, landing hard onto the ground.

"Bitches!" I run to her, my fist slamming against her face, breaking her nose instantly. Blood drips down. I race to Sam, lifting him off the ground. He gasps for air. "Come on Sam." I pull him up. The blonde Vamp stands back up. "Harold!" Kicking her in the stomach, throwing her into the wall. "Still with me?"

"Yeah," he barks. Two more run towards me.

"Bedroom," I yell, dropping Sam he slumps back down. A smaller blacked-haired vamp is closest. I deliver a well placed round house, my heel catching his cheek. As he flips, shattering my coffee table, the second one catches me off guard, and shoves me into the wall. His hand twists in my hair, slamming my face into the wall. He pulls back to laugh at me.

"Wrong," I hiss, pulling my leg up into his groin, dropping him to the ground. He howls in pain.

Glass shatters as two more break through the patio door, I take hold of Sam's arm throwing him towards the room. "Move." Picking a potted plant, and threw it at a red-headed Vamp. She catches it just as I kick her, throwing her back through the broken patio window.

I spin and follow Sam down the hallway, stopping to see Harold losing his battle with two male vamps. I roll, grabbing a butcher's knife from off the counter, tucking it in my hand. I barrel towards the largest one, closing my eyes I fling my arm out. The cut is deep enough to slice through the skin and throat, the blade stopped at the backbone. His warm blood splatters against my face. The second vamp growls as his fangs descend.

"No!" the words burst from my mouth. He bends down, his teeth digging deep into Harold's throat. Harold's screams fill the air, trying in vain to break from the vamp's grasp. But this isn't enough for the beast. It tears a piece of flesh from his neck, spitting the chunk onto the floor. Harold frantically tries to stop the gushing blood, his brown eyes fall on me, a half smile crosses his face, and his body crumbles and falls.

"Bastard!" I can't control the rage anymore. I run for him. Sam's arms wrap around my waist, pulling me back. "Sam let me go," I blindly kick and claw at the arms and legs.

"Trinity," his weak voice pleads as he pulls me back. "He's dead."

In my heart I know it, but my mind is still reeling. This wasn't supposed to happen. Sam half drags, half pulls me away. I watch the six vampires standing over my brother's body.

Sam pushes me into the room and locks the door. He reaches for me, but I can't be bothered by his consoling my pain. Harold is dead and it is my fault. I clench my hands, pushing past Sam. "There's six of them and two of us." I look at Dean, then back to Sam whose knees buckle and he drops to the floor, panting for air. "Sam hold it together." I push my dresser in front of the door.

I stand, wiping the blood from my face, taking a quick survey of the room. In a brief moment my plans change. "Sam, get Dean up!"

Barely able to control my own anger. This isn't supposed to happen. Sam feebly tries to wake his brother. My breaths are heavy. I stand waiting for them to knock down the door, but nothing comes. "I hope he tastes like ass," I yell through the door. I look at Sam, his face is flushed, just as he pulls the semi-conscious Dean from the bed. "Or you choke on his blood."

I turn, pushing back my clothes in my closet. My hands run over the array of weapons. Each weapon has a purpose, but not what I need. I squint, reaching up, pulling a black cloth from the top shelf. I don't have time for a sappy moment so I drop the cloth to the ground, revealing a long samurai sword encased in a blood red sheath. The blade sings as in one fluid movement, I draw it from the sheath. The light dances on the silver. It did feel good to be here again. I looked up at Sam, who is struggling with his brother's weight.

"All right, there's a fire escape, get to the Impala." She shoved open the window. "I'll be right behind you." I turn just as the door shatters. The first Vampire through was the balding vamp, his fangs descend. Pushing at Sam, turning taking his head off with a single swipe. Pulling out my lighter, the yellow flame licks at the darkness. Grabbing a full bottle of nail polish remover I pour it on my bed, setting the lighter to it. The wave of heat pushes at my face. It was a bigger flame than what I was expecting. Ducking the arm that shoots out for me, I jump out the window. The cold night air cuts right through me, but the heat at my back keeps me moving.

It doesn't take long for me to catch up with Sam and Dean. "Sam, honey, we really have to pick up the pace. It won't take them long to catch us." My words are soft and polite, but at the same time anger ripples through me.

"I'm trying," his voice shudders.

I crawl around him, grabbing Dean's arm and wrapping it around my neck, taking on his full weight with a groan. Sam slumps back looking at me with surprise. My body doesn't care that Dean is too heavy for me; all I want is to get out and make everyone of them pay.

Starting with Fallyn. Her words repeat in my head, "Join us and you and your brother will never be harmed." The thought of her smug face, her crooked smile rushes through my mind. "Bastard." The word slips from my lips. "What?" Sam overhears me.

"Nothing. Sam, I need you to get Dean to the Impala as quick as you can. I'll run defence." I reposition Dean, kicking at the ladder, watching it drop down to the alley floor. Hugging the wall, I let Sam pass me. He drops to the pavement then reaches up for his brother. I jump down just behind him, ramming him forward, making him run while I use my every ability to watch our backs. Then I feel it. I slow down. Sam stops, turning to look at me.

AN: Come on I know you want too, let me know what you think, come on JUST DO IT :)


	4. Lonely Days

AN: Its been a long time coming, I do beg my readers for forgiveness in the delay in the story, but here it is, and too Shannon you are always able to find the Diamond in the ruff, and to all my readers, keep it real and enjoy the next few chapters coming at you.

Such a lonely day  
And it's mine  
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day  
Should be banned  
It's a day that I can't stand

Such a lonely day  
Shouldn't exist  
It's a day that I'll never miss

Such a lonely day  
And it's mine  
The most loneliest day of my life

System of a Down

Five Vampires from the loft walk slowly down the alley, their white eyes flare in the light. I place my hand on the hilt, shaking.

"Trinity?" Sam's voice trembles. He begins walking back.

"Sam go!" I order, cracking my neck.

Sam runs down the alley, disappearing around the corner. I put my attention back to the group approaching me. "Trinity," Jake's voice shakes from beside me. I spin on my heels, staring at his cold black eyes. "What are you doing?" He reaches for me.

"We had a deal Jake," I hiss. The others walk up, each growling as they change, their eyes twist in the moon light.

"Make it look real," Jake looks at his nails, crossing his arms. "I figured it was real enough."

I pull my sword from it sheath, for too long had I let it go to waste in my closest, it shook in my hands and for once I knew what had to be done, "I will kill every one of you."

Jake tenses. Looking at me hungrily and licking his lips. "I remember this, but it was your father with the empty threats. And you know what Puppet? I enjoyed tearing his throat out, as I will with you."

"And you think after all these years I wouldn't learn a little?" I smile, looking at the five vampires descending upon me.

"The council will hear of your betrayal." Jake screams.

"And you tell them when they killed my brother all deals were off!" The blood rushes to my head.

"Fine, bring me her head." He disappears into the darkness; his laughter is the only thing that reaches my ears.

I raise the blade, watching their faces as they circle me. The first one lunges at me. With a flick of my wrist it stumbles back. Its head drops to the ground, followed by the large body. Stepping back, I press my back against the wall. A blond female grabs for me while the red headed one swings. I duck just as her fist connects with the wall, but in my haste I leave my back open to the blond. Her heel drives into the back of my knee, forcing me to drop my blade. The red head retrieves it and spins around. Her eyes glitter as she pulls back to drive the blade deep it into my side. The blade burns as it ripples through my side and exits my back. I close my eyes, my hands wrapping around the blade, pulling it into me, pulling her closer. Her eyes fill with shock.

"They said you were crazy but this takes the cake," the vampire's voice whispers.

"Crazies all I got." Slamming my head against the bridge of her nose, she staggers back. Quickly I pull the blade from my side, falling to the ground. My knees touch the pavement just as the bald vamp reaches down for me. Raising the blade up behind me, I thrust it into his chest. In a flash I am standing, a small throwing knife drops out from my sleeve and into my right hand. As I turn around, the knife grades across his throat. His body falls to the ground. I stand up slowly pulling the blade from his chest.

Panting, holding my stomach, trying to keep back the warm liquid that is slipping from the wound. I glance at the last three vampires. I stumble forward, using the blade to prop myself up into a standing position. My eyes make light of the situation, dancing with excitement. My body was meeting its limit, but I wouldn't let them see that. I suck the last bit of strength in, sticking my hand out I crack a large smile, my voice slips from my mouth teasing the last vampires. "Two down, three to go."

I gulp past the pain that is washing through my body, focusing on the two female vamps. By the way they stand; I can see the fear that is brewing from deep inside. The last one, the small vamp that killed my brother, looks at me, chest heaving. His hands raise from his side and he cracks his neck.

"Want to play little boy?" I spit the words at him at him.

"Your brother," his voice is low, his lips curl in a devilish smile, "tasted so good."

Everything fades to a blood red. I strike foolishly, my slice goes wide. He drives his fist into my open wound, instantly dropping me to my knees. I bite my cheek, holding back the cries that sit in my throat and try to stand again. This time a look of pure insanity crosses my face as I turn towards him, the blade falls from my hands, which clench into tight fists.

"That's not how you treat a lady." My voice is toneless. I feel the full weight of someone on my back. Blond hair falls over my face. I stumble under her weight. They never like to play fair. But neither do I. My long finger tangles in her hair, flipping her over, snapping her neck like a twig. Her body goes limp in my hands and I toss her aside. I don't hear the red head's screams as she runs at me. I turn, sliding my foot under my blade, kicking it up into the air. My hands link, grabbing the hilt, and with one fluid up movement, the girl splits into two. Her white eyes roll in her heads. She crumbles to the ground.

I turn to the last vampire, "and now there is one." I step forward. His eyes widen. He steps back, his head shaking as he looks at his fallen comrades.

Two blaring headlights fill the alleyway, breaking my concentration. The black Impala screeches to a stop. Sam jumps out, ready for the fight, stopping as he takes in the carnage I created. I look back for the last vamp, but he's gone. My heart screams. I stagger towards Sam.

"Trinity?" He steps over bodies, grabbing my arm to hold me up. "Lets get out of here."

I am too mad to say anything to the shocked Winchester. I wipe my blade off on my sleeve before putting it back in the sheath. "Yeah, lets, their smell is sickening." I walk to the Impala, looking at Dean who's sitting in the back seat, his eyes half open, staring back at me.

I ease behind the steering wheel, ignoring Sam's cries of displeasure. "Listen, I just smoked four vamps and I really don't feel like listening to you right now. I'll drive." I slip the car into gear to speed back down the alley. Glancing up, I notice Jake standing on the top of my apartment building, flames licking all around him. His head snaps back and his laughter echoes eerily in the air.  
The city fades behind us. My foot steps on the accelerator, making the car cry out, flying down the highway. Sam stares at me. I wipe the blood from my face, grumbling about my blood stained clothes. I don't want to look at him. I don't want to see the disgusted look on his face.

His words are almost impossible to hear as he slides down the seat. "Like old times, huh?"

I turn to reply but find his eyes shut tight, his chest slowly raises and lowers. I glance back at Dean. He, too, is back to sleep, his head resting against the window. I can't help chuckle at my situation. I know Constance will kill me and Sam and Dean will do the same once they figure out I betrayed them. I groan, a stabbing pain ripples through my body. Glancing quickly around the front seat I look for anything to temporarily patch my wound, but I find nothing. I place my hand over my stomach, pressing firmly, biting back any signs of pain. I know that the bleeding will stop and heal itself. It always has, but with Sam and Dean out for the count I can't afford to rest and wait for my body to repair itself.

I keep my eyes trained on the road, while my mind races through every possible scenario. No matter how I do it my secret will eventually come out and I will be screwed. If the vampires don't get me, Sam and Dean will. My life just keeps getting better and better.

I reposition myself yet again. The blinding pain ripples throughout my body. My side burns. I gently graze my side. A deep hiss escapes my lips. Painfully, I pull my shirt up to glance down. The skin isn't healing around the wound. I reach around to my back, running my hand over the dried blood. I can no longer feel the exit wound.

"Holy…" Sam's voice makes me glance up. He's staring at my side, "pull over!"

"I'm fine, it's just a flesh wound." I gingerly tug my shirt back down; trying not to show the pain I am in.

"And I'm freakin' Santa Claus,"

"Really? Because you know, Santa, you skipped me for the last few years, and I've been a real good little girl." I smack at his hand as he tries to grab for the wheel. "Hey, who's driving here? I'm fine, all right."

His eyes search mine before he turns away. "Bull." He crosses his arms and sits up. I can't help but to laugh out. He looks like the five year old Sammy that would pout if he never got his way. I look back out to the dark highway. My vision blurs.

"Maybe we should take a breather, make sure Dean's all right." I massage the bridge of my nose. "There's a truck stop just down the road."

Sam looks up at me, a small smile etched across his face. He looks back at Dean. "I'm sorry about your brother," Sam's words find no holes in my armour. I shrug them off.

I can't look at him. I don't want to look at him. My fingers tighten over the wheel. I swallow the lump in my throat down as I park the Impala under a lamp post. Its dull glow fills the car.

It is too quiet for me. Sam stares at me, trying to find the words.  
The only thing I can think of is to stare out the window. It's Dean's voice that finally breaks the silence, "where the hell are we?" He shifts, opening his eyes.

"We're resting." Sam looks at him, joy filling his face. "Trinity is hurt and---"

"I'm fine. I'll go freshen up and you'll see," I bark, pushing open the door. The cold night air rushes in. It feels so good against my burning skin. I sit for a moment, letting it cool me off. I lean forward, but nothing happens. My head is telling my body what to do but nothing is listening. "Great," I mumble. Dean reaches out, touching my arm.

"What?" Dean's voice is distant and muffled. I am ripped from the conscious world.

Fallyn stands before me with her back toward me, her long white hair gently tossed with the wind. She wears the long white dress which she always chooses for the dreamscape. I stand staring up at her, my body numb. I know I am not sleeping. She tore me from reality. My mind swirls with voices, the voices of the council. They are so loud I drop to my knees, covering my ears, trying to block out their hideous voices.

"Why?" her voice is angelic, "why so much hatred, so much anger, my child?" She reaches down to me.

I pull back away from her light. "Don't ever touch me," I glare at her, "bitch."

"Trinity," she crouches down next to me, touching my shoulder. "I have protected you, loved you, nurtured you in your time of suffering, and this is how you speak to me."

"You killed the only thing that I held dear, you betrayed my loyalty." Tears roll down my cheeks. I wipe them away quickly so she cannot see them.

She looks at me holding her hands out. "You begged me to save your from damnation. I can only hold the door open, it is up to you to pick the right one." Her voice echoes in my head. "Do you remember?"

"No," I shake my head, "don't."

The light flickers as I stand staring at an eighteen- year old carbon copy of myself. My short spiked hair, my thick black eye liner streams down my cheeks as I hold the head of my father. He gasps for air. The lifeless body of my mother is just out of reach. I shake, looking at Fallyn. She walks towards me. Blood slips from my father's mouth, his back arches. His large hands, once rough and powerful, now weak and soft, pull my face to his mouth.

"You have never done me wrong baby girl." His voice gurgles, his hands slipping from my face. He rolls back, staring at nothing, staring through me.

The eighteen-year old version's head snaps back, pulling him into me, screams tear from my throat, shaking the ground. Soon that fades to muffled sobbing. She buries her face into the dead man's chest.

"How could you?" The images fade into nothing.

"My child, I saved you that night, remember?"

I watch myself running down a poorly lit street, two vampires laughing as they follow me. The one I recognize is Jake, his black hair bounces with every step. My father's blood still soaks my clothes. I stumble, falling to the ground, waiting for my own death, waiting to be with my father and mother. I shake in anger, watching Fallyn walk out from the darkness. Her long jacket covers my shivering body. She kneels next to me, taking my face in her hands.

"I can take you away from all of this." Her voice is comforting, and kind. She wipes the blood and tears from my face. "I can teach you to be stronger, better, faster."

My head nods as her arms lift me up, pulling my body into her chest, her fingers stroke my hair. She hums a lullaby to me, stepping back into the darkness.

"And out of my love you were born." She touches my shoulder, snapping me back, tears stream out from my eyes. This was a memory I never wanted to remember---that I had fought so hard to hide in the back corners of my mind. Her long fingers stroke my hair. "Trinity, I need to know where you are, where you are taking Dean?"

"What?" I look at her, my head cocks as I hear the harsh words from the council filling my head once again. "You're going to kill them all, but…" I pull back, "you lied to me. You lied to me!" I push her back with everything I have.

"Sam. Wake me up!" I scream at the top of my lungs, as Fallyn walks towards me, her eyes roll, dripping blood. "Dean!" I stare in horror. Her skin dribbling from her face, exposing the creature inside. Hands rake across my stomach as I lurch forward. My own blood explodes through the three cuts along my side. "Wake me up!" I yell as she descends upon me, her long black fingers pulling my head towards her gaping jaw. Her scream rattles my every fiber.

"Someone wake me up!" I feel the air being sucked from my lungs. My cries now turn to low pants, using all my energy to pull away from the beast that stands before me. In a last attempt to free myself, I jab my hand against my side, where my wound is.

A new pain ripples through me, a pain I would welcome any time to this. My body flickers, falling from Fallyn's grip. A smile streams across my face. "See you in hell."

AN: tell me what you think, reviews are welcomed


	5. Revelations

AN: two chapters posting in one day I'm on a roll, thanks Shannon for the wicked betaing, and to whom ever has read thus far hope its living up to everything you expect it too

"You may throw your rock

Or hide your hand

Working in the dark

Against your fellow man

But as sure as

God made black and white

What's done in the dark

Will be brought to the light"

Johnny Cash

My eyes snap open, shooting straight up. I am no longer in the Impala but sprawling out on a queen sized bed in a light cool motel room. I wipe the beads of sweat from my brow and look around. Dean lies on the bed beside me, his eyes closed, his hands over his stomach. Sam is stretched out on the small couch in the corner of the room, his legs dangle over the edge and he looks more uncomfortable then I feel.

My stomach burns. I can feel the bile reaching the back of my throat. There is no chance for grace. I lunge for the bathroom, my hand over my mouth, reaching the toilet just in time as the bile breaks past my lips. I have always hated this part of the dreamscape, and this time it is more violent. Fallyn has never before pulled me in while I was awake.

My hand clumsily searches for the plunger when blinding white light causes me to pull in to shield my eyes. "Turn it off," I gag, lurching forward.

"Sorry." Sam walks in, sitting on the tub, rubbing my back. "You alright?"

"Fine." I slide down, pressing my body against the cold linoleum.  
"How long was I out for?" I wipe my mouth, staring at my hands, the trace of red brings a new fear. My stomach relaxes, no longer wanting to expel its contents. Instead it feels like it is on fire. I roll over, tearing at my shirt. My cries of pain cause Sam to drop down beside me and grab at my hands. He is yelling, but I can't make out what he is saying. My eyes go wide with fear. I spit out mouthfuls of copper tasting blood. Bright lights blind me again, withering me with pain.

A second set of hands grab me by the waist, voices echo in my head. I am burning. My body feels like it's on fire. The gasps from Sam make me realize that something isn't right. The three large claw marks that Fallyn gave me in the dreamscape open on my stomach. When I sit up my eyes roll in the back of my head. A blood-curdling scream fills the room.

Dean grabs me, lifting me into the air. His strong arms pull me against his chest and he climbs into the shower with me. "Cold water, Sammy!" his voice commands his brother.

The cold water rushes over my body, making me shiver, but at least it is lowering my body's temperature. It is what I need. My eyes focus, staring at Dean as he sits down in the tub. His eyes watch me as he pulls me into him. I shake my head, trying not to look at either of them. I have to figure out how Fallyn could hurt me. An even deeper fear rushes through me---Dean knew what to do.

"Don't let me fall asleep," I chatter, know that if a fall asleep what's waiting for me on the other side is stronger then me. The water cuts into my body like a knife. I don't know how long I lay in the tub hanging on to Dean. Sam no longer able to watch me suffer, turns the water off. My eyes follow him.

"Your lips are turning blue." He grabs a few towels and drapes them over me. He looks at Dean, who is in the same situation. Without saying anything, Sam lifts me from Dean's arms. I have never felt so helpless. I hold tightly onto his neck, my eyes focus on his jaw line as he clenches his jaw. He walks from the room, carefully laying me on the bed. Dean follows behind us. He strips out of his wet clothes, digs into his duffle bag and slips into dry clothes.

Sam bites his lip. "We have to get you out of those clothes."

I nod, letting him help me up. Dean's eyes pierce mine. He scans the wound on my side. Both of them look in shock. The cut is almost gone. I ignore Sam's looks of concern as he reaches out.

"Trinity," his warm hands touch my stomach, goose bumps lace my skin. "What's going on? I patched you up myself. The cut was…" He looks at Dean.

I hear the cocking of a pistol and turn around slowly. It doesn't surprise me to see Dean holding a .45 at my head.

"Dean?" Sam hasn't caught on to what his brother has already figured out.

"Sam, she's one of them," Dean growls, the corner of his mouth twitches.

Sam steps back as he grabs a hunting knife from under the pillow on the couch to point it at me. I drop my head, taking in a deep breath I look up at Dean from between my fingers.

"If you're so sure, Dean, pull the trigger, cut off my head, do something, kill me right now." I clench my jaw, cocking my head to the right. "Or are you scared?" I lift my head. "Let me guess, Dean, something is going on inside you and you can't explain it."

"Are you one of them?" Sam stops my rant.

"No." Moving my attention to Sam, I lift my upper lip, showing them my gums. "See no fangs."

I turn back to Dean, my hands settle on my lap. I watch his demeanour change. His hand catches my cheek. The slap echoes through the room. I don't turn back to him. I let the pain dissipate. Sam moves to his brother, stopping him from hitting me again. Dean's eyes are wild. He pushes his brother away from him and presses the muzzle of the gun back against my temple.

"Tell me why I shouldn't kill you?" He increases the pressure of the gun against my temple.

Sam bounces back. "Dean what are you doing?" Sam frantically tries to grasp what is going on.

"Tell me!" he yells.

I take a deep breath. "Because I'm the only one who can help you." My voice is flat. I look to the floor. The words taste so bitter, but this is all I can do.

Dean pulls the gun away as he sits down. "Help me?" his voice cracks as he slowly blinks. "Who are you?" He grips the gun tightly, glaring at me.

"Funny, Dean." I want to joke my way out of this, but the stern look on Dean's face makes it impossible. Taking a deep breath I plunge ahead. "I'm not exactly the same seventeen-year old you remember. The world changed and I had to adapt."

"Everyone has a choice to change or adapt." Sam did his usual trying to be the good guy, but he only made this harder.

"Point." I nod looking at Dean. "Tell me, Winchester, how's that working for you? I mean no offence but…" I stop myself, covering my mouth, watching Dean's hands clench. "I was eighteen years old when they came. The whole nest attacked my family. Dad and mom…they did everything they could but there were too many of them."

The images shooting through my head causes tears to well in my eyes. "Dad was able to get me and Harold out, but there wasn't enough time for him or mom. Harold tried to keep me from going back, but I couldn't leave my parents back there, so I went back. I wasn't going to let my parents die.

"When I got back, the vamps were already inside. I did my best to fight them off, but there were just too many. After they subdued me they used me as bait, using mom and dad's weakness against them, and it drew them out. They made me watch as they killed my mother." My hand grips the sheets, closing my eyes to block the images flashing through my mind.

"My dad wasn't as lucky. They tortured him. They didn't want any information, tortured him just to hear his screams. As a cruel joke they let me go. I held my father in my arms. I watched him die." My whole body shivers. I look up at Dean trying to read his blank face, I was sure my heart would explode when he shows no emotion at my words. Wiping the tears quickly off of my face, I take in a deep shaken breath. I have to keep my emotions in check if I was to ever get out of this alive.

"I'm so sorry," Sam reaches out to comfort me.

"Don't be, it opened my eyes, they let me see the world the way it really is. I spent my whole life fighting, killing, hunting creatures; thinking I was better, that I was stronger than them. Good, evil it's all the same. I escaped while they were trying to figure out who was going to kill me. I ran--- I ran till I couldn't breathe, I ran from who I was, from my brother. That's when she found me, Fallyn, an ancient vampire---one of the first. She saw me for what I was and took me in. She taught me the old ways, the ways that were dead and gone. She helped me use my hatred to grow stronger, faster, better. In return, I protect her from hunters, from other vampires. It felt so good to be in control again."

"What are you getting at?" Dean growls.

"Dean, what you see, what you kill is nothing compared to what lingers in the dark, in the cracks, the crevices, in the back of your mind. You two, you have only scratched the surface. I've seen thing, things that would make the most experienced hunter quiver in fear. Do I regret what I did?"

"Did what? All you have told us is a sob story, one that I have heard a thousand times before," Dean's anger boiled. "Boo hoo, my parents were killed, I felt sorry for myself," he mocked me. "You know what? I don't care. But if you know what the hell is going on tell me! Cause you're treading on thin ice."

I roll my eyes as I grab his arm pulling it out to show the bite mark. "Dean, you ass, you have been bitten. Now whether you like it or not, you're turning into what I am." I drop his arm at his glare. "Happy? I tried to break it gently to you, but no, you can't have that, huh?"

Dean pulls back his arm, looking up at Sam. Like a deer caught in the headlights, his face changes from the brave Winchester, to a defenceless man.

Sam head cocks to the right, his jaw tenses feeding off his brother pain. "So how do we stop it?" Sam's voice is flat.

"We don't stop it. This is my fight and I will fix it." The words hiss from my lips.

Dean rolls back, covering up his fears he lets out a chuckle. Letting his eyes fall on me.

"I never expected you to understand." His laughter burns, it makes me want to pull back into my shell.

"Understand? You still haven't told me what sick demented freak you've become." He leans forward, waiting for my reply.

"I'm a protector. It sounds stupid but it's what it sounds like. I was picked by Fallyn. I'm not a vampire, but I'm not human, somewhere in between." By the blank look on his face, I know he doesn't get what I am saying. "Feel like your sixth sense is on over drive? You knew I was burning up, and I didn't say a thing. You could sense that I was different. Dean that voice in the back of your mind is just a whisper now, but soon it will be so freakin' loud you'll feel like your head is going to explode."

His fist connects with my jaw. I didn't expect him to understand, but I didn't expect this. "How do I stop it?" He raises his hand, ready to punch again.

"You have to kill him!" I cover my jaw, feeling it throb. I quickly wipe the small amount of blood from my lip. He stands up so quickly I am sure there is another punch coming towards me.

Sam glances at his brother in horror, stepping away from him.

"You have to kill the vampire that bit you."

"Who is it?" Dean glares at me.

"Kynan, but it's not as easy as it sounds. I can get close enough to kill him."

"I'm finding it kind of hard to believe you right now. You've been protecting these creatures for almost ten years and now you want me to put my life in your hands, right?" He moves to the desk, reaching for the phone. With a firm tug he pulls the cord from the wall.

"Dean, you don't have any other choice. I'm the only one that can get past them, they trust me." Stumbling on my words, I know well enough that I'll never get more then two feet inside, but right now I need Dean to believe that I can help him.

"Sam, tie her up." He tosses the cord at his brother, taking out a handkerchief from his jacket pocket. "The way I see it, they'll want you, and I want them. It's time we make a deal."

"Dean, listen to me, Kynan he's…"

"Stow it!" He covers my mouth. Sam grabs for me, quickly I jerk my hands from his, Dean grabs my arms holding me still while forcing my hands together. Tear well up, I shake my head in a desperate attempt to stop the inevitable. Sam doesn't look at me as he ties my hands together. "We've got some hunting to do. How about it, Sam? How 'bout we dangle her like a worm on a hook?"

Looking at Sam my eyes plead, trying to draw out his better nature. He breaks the stare focusing his attention to his brother. Nodding his head he steps back. "Bring them to us."

I try to cry out but the cloth stifles the sounds. They are going to get us all killed.

Sam and Dean sit nearby, going over the plan while I work in vain to loosen the phone cord around my wrists, watching them. They have no clue what they are up against and Dean is too angry to listen to reason. Sam stands up, walking over to me. His eyes are dark. He reaches around my head, pulling the cloth from my mouth.

"Sam, please," I beg, focusing all my efforts on Sam. "Dean's not himself. You need to listen to me. I'm the only one who can help."

"How do you communicate?" He voice is shallow. "How do we get a message out to them?"

"Sam, no, this is wrong. You have to stop. This is suicide."

"How do we tell them where we are?" He pronounces the words slowly.

"You're not going to listen, are you?" I'm so frustrated by his actions, I mimic him mocking him. "Sam, Dean needs help. Soon it will be too late."

"Trinity, how do you communicate with Fallyn?" He looks at Dean who is busy sharpening his knives.

"Sammy please," I beg, trying to hit any form of compassion he has.

Dean slams his hand down on the table, pushing past Sam. He isn't Dean anymore. I can see the fire in his eyes. I automatically stiffen. He bends over me, his grip tightens around my arms and he lifts me up, slamming me into the wall with such force the drywall cracks and caves in. A huff slips from my lips. Sam steps back in fear.

Dean roars with anger. He throws me across the room. Like a rag doll, I crumple into the full length mirror. Glass rains down on me; new cuts burn and bleed out. Dean ignores Sam's pleading to relax. Walking up to me, he leans over my battered body.

"You broke your promise to me," I whisper. His eyes widen for a moment. I can see the calm gentler Winchester I had grown to love. Then in a blink, he changes again. His hand clenches into a tight fist and without warning it connects with my temple. I am violently pulled into a black abyss.

AN: Come on I know your reading it, tell me what you think


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